I live in my own world.
I have my own priorities & preferences, tendencies & talents, interests & idiosyncrasies, habits & hangups.
I live deep inside the house of my own thoughts and forget to open the blinds to see what’s going on “out there.” I depend on others to tap, knock or bang on the door reminding me to engage with the world outside.
I know there are people who throw open their doors each morning and stride out into the world to see how everyone is doing. They look deep into your eyes when they talk to you and ask just the right, not-too-probing question to start the flow of conversation.
I’m not one of those people. I wouldn’t mind being more like them, I really wouldn’t, it’s just that most of the time it doesn’t occur to me.
I was thinking about this recently, determining to be more outwardly focussed when I found myself in one of those situations tailor-made to test my new resolve. I failed. Miserably.
No, really. Miserably.
My ‘job’ was to make new people feel welcome. I spotted one person I’d never seen before, marched up to her, introduced myself and then spent the next 10 minutes standing next to her in awkward silence trying to think of something to say.
That little voice inside said, “See? You’re not good at this.” Humpf.
It wasn’t very long before I was reminded that things could be different. I found myself passionately singing these words:
“You make me new,
You are making me new.”
Aha! God doesn’t want to leave me the way I am. In fits and starts, he is transforming me.
Next time you see me I may be totally wrapped up in my own thoughts, or I may say something totally awkward in an effort to initiate conversation. Be patient with me, God’s making me new.