What do you fear?

A friend recently tackled the question of fear on his blog.  His question was “What do you fear?”, more specifically, “What do you fear more than God?”  (No surprise, this friend is also my pastor.)

So, what is it that drives you, controls you, and shapes you?  

After thinking and talking about this for a while, I’ve found my answer:
I fear not knowing.

Not knowing what everyone is talking about.

Not knowing anyone.

Not knowing what’s going on.

Not knowing what’s coming next.

Not knowing the plan.

Not knowing what to do.

Not knowing the answer.

Now that I know what I fear (deep irony here), I’ve begun to see how this drives what I do and how I react to different situations. Often it involves a frenzy of activity or double- and triple-checking details.  Queasy stomach anyone?  Sometimes it makes me want to just punch something.  

If I stop and think about it, I remember that God is the only one who knows everything and, really, he’s the only one who needs to know.  But then I forget again.  

Trust is hard.